“But seriously, if you feel you need it, you should. It’s unfortunate that in our part of the world people think seeing a psychologist or just making time for your emotional and mental wellbeing is a luxury. I agree it comes with a cost but don’t we all spend money on frivolous things? A lot of people don’t know the decisions they make is because of their experiences and the patterns they have formed over the years,”
“You sound like a mini psychologist now,” Korkor said as she saw to the rice, “Maybe I’ll start seeing you for my own therapy sessions”
Lisa chuckled and they continued chatting. Korkor revealed she had a date the next day, with a guy named Peter, “He came in to run some blood tests. He seemed like a great guy. After seeing to him, we spent some time chatting. Before leaving he asked if I’ll like to have dinner. I didn’t have a reason to say no, so I said yes,”
“Aww, that’s nice. And here I was thinking we’ll spend tomorrow evening watching sitcoms. I guess I’ll have to throw a party for one”
“I can call him and cancel…”
“Of course not,” Lisa interrupted, “don’t do that. One of us needs to go on a date. It’s been a while and we’re not trying to be forty and single,”
Korkor laughed out, “You’re crazy,” She announced food was ready. Lisa clapped heartily like a little girl. She was still in her work clothes, her heels kicked off and her braids loosened up, completely feeling relaxed as always whenever she was around Korkor.
Korkor served their meal and they sat to eat, “So apparently, I’ve only been dating different versions of my father. And I’ve been recreating my mother’s life” Lisa said.
“What? But you don’t want to be anything like your parents,”
“I know! I don’t. All my life I’ve been running away from them and it turns out I’ve been recreating their life”
“It is. The truth of the matter is, we all live in the shadows of our parents. The experiences they create for us, whether good or bad are the ones we use to create our own lives. If we don’t break bad cycles, we only repeat them”
“And we pass them on, one generation to another”
“Exactly! Parenting shouldn’t be taken lightly. When you’re a parent, you either build or tear down your children with your actions. It’s sad how many parents do the latter and don’t even know it”
“That’s true,” Korkor nodded, “But at some point, children can’t continue blaming their parents for the state of their life. After a while, it becomes a child’s responsibility to take care of him or herself, like you’re doing…”
“Yeah, that’s true. It’s why I’m cleaning up my life, evaluating my patterns and trying to do better. I can’t keep repeating the same mistakes”
“I know right. Going the same road and expecting different results, not possible”
“Yeah. Now I understand why I was attracted to Raymond. He was emotionally unavailable like my father. And then Aeron came along when Raymond was no longer in the picture. You remember how we met?”
“Didn’t the two of you meet at the party?”
“Yeah, after he beat that guy. Aeron had a temper and I was used to seeing with my parents act violently like that. Fiifi was just a bad combination of Raymond and Aeron. I shouldn’t have entertained him in the first place. He was the worst”
“Yeah.., but you didn’t know better,” Korkor chipped in, “Now that you do, I’m certain things will be different”
“I hope so” Lisa said and scooped some rice, “You’re lucky you grew up in a stable home. Your parents didn’t expose you to all kinds of mess”
“It doesn’t mean I don’t have my own issues to deal with. We all have our concerns and little troubles to carry…”
“Yeah, but compared to mine.., you lived in a palace” Lisa teased and they laughed.